“Education, faith in God, and true friends, once earned, cannot be taken away by anyone.”

Kathy Antoniades-Ragsdale

The Ragsdale family has been influential in the charming U.S. city of Jamestown, North Carolina, since the 1700s, when it was first settled by the Mendenhall family. The Ragsdales have operated The Oakdale Cotton Mills Company, which manufactures natural and dyed yarns and twines, for more than 100 years in Jamestown.  One of the local schools, Lucy Ragsdale High School —as well as the Mary Ragsdale Family YMCA — were named in honor of family members who were actively involved in the community affairs of Jamestown over the years.

The tradition of service to the community continues today with William “Billy” Ragsdale, III, who serves as the mayor of Jamestown. Unfortunately, he recently lost his beloved wife Kathy (Katerina) Antoniades-Ragsdale. I had the pleasure of meeting Mayor Ragsdale, and he shared with me some of his life experiences with Kathy.

Kathy Antoniades-Ragsdale was an exceptional First Lady who dedicated her life to her family (three children and three grandchildren, with two more grandchildren on the way), philanthropy and education. She played a variety of active roles on multiple boards of directors, served as a trustee, and worked with non-profit organizations. A true believer in the Guilford Technical Community College (GTCC) and its mission, she was on the GTCC Foundation Board from 2001-2005 and the GTCC Board of Trustees from 2003-2005. The GTCC Hospitality Education program is named after her, and a lake outside of the Culinary School is named "Lake Katherine” in her honor. 

Kathy was an enthusiastic chef and exceptional hostess, often entertaining in the Ragsdales’ imposing house nestled on manicured English Gardens surrounded by mature oak trees. She taught those around her that: “Education, faith in God, and true friends, once earned, cannot be taken away by anyone."

Mr. Mayor, how would you describe your family life with your wife and children? Did Kathy’s Greek heritage add a new dynamic to the family?    

When Kathy and I got married, I had two young sons from a previous marriage. At that time, they were two and five years old. Kathy and her family never differentiated the children from my previous marriage from our natural child. All of the children were treated as an equal part of the family and very well...her family loved all the children the same way.

I am very pleased our children were raised in a Greek family environment. It is interesting: Before Kathy and I got married, my mother went for a trip to Greece, and she told the tour guide, “My son is dating a Greek girl.” The tour guide answered, “Tell your son to marry her…Greek women make the best wives.”

Mr. Mayor, you and your wife Kathy raised three children with both Greek Orthodox and American Quaker values in the U.S. How did you manage to overcome cultural challenges and in parallel preserve the best of the American and Greek heritages?

In our relationship, we had open communication and understanding. The children were raised in the Greek Orthodox Church, and Kathy was very adamant about it. I supported her and went to the Greek Orthodox Church, particularly during holidays and on special occasions.

The way we solved problems was by addressing them and through dialogue. In fact, I didn’t feel the Greek culture was very different from what I was used to. Maybe the language was not easy for me to follow when Kathy’s parents were visiting, but generally the core values are the same.

I did not want to influence my children in which church they should go. I left them to make their own decisions and to be where they felt a sense of belonging. Our children have an understanding and respect for both traditions. They went to Greek School just as other kids did to gain a better and deeper understanding of their mother’s heritage. I think, today, it is important for children to be exposed to different cultures and interact with different people given the global world we are living in.

When you look back at yourself as a young father, is there anything you would have done differently?

Looking back, we raised our children to the best of our ability. Kathy was a protective and extremely supportive mother. She was always available to them. Sometimes our children would ask, “Why I have to do this?” but Kathy was consistent and persistent. All our children have realized as adults and appreciated why it was important to follow dad’s and mom’s orders even though they did not always agree.

Particularly, our oldest son:  When he had children, he realized the importance of discipline. So, he swallowed his pride and told Kathy, “Now I understand the reason…now I understand why.” Also, I realized early on, when Kathy and my youngest son had struggles that those were their struggles, not mine, and I didn’t interfere. Kathy was a fair mother. She came from a culture that valued education tremendously.

Given your highly demanding professional endeavors and active charitable services in your community, what was your major source of inspiration at times of stress?

I like to play golf, and I am not running for reelection. I have two more months as mayor, and then I am retiring. Honestly, I do not get particularly stressed with my day-to-day activities at the Town Hall. All of my family has been involved in Jamestown community affairs, so I guess I was raised in an environment that prepared me to handle all the work and stress that is involved in running a Mayor’s office. My grandmother taught and formed the first PTA Council, and my mother was very involved in the city’s affairs.

My family for generations has strived to improve our city and the quality of services, and to make it a desirable and pleasant place for the citizens of Jamestown. We have beautiful parks with numerous recreational activities, brick sidewalks, the lowest tax rate in Southeast USA, the highest per capita income, and the highest average housing in an 11-county region. We have many professionals who live in Jamestown, so we try to meet the needs and expectations of our professional citizens.

Do you feel it is possible to preserve cultural and religious values without playing an active role in the Greek Orthodox Community and the community at large?

I believe an active role in the community is important. Kathy was very active with the Greek community and the community at large. She was a philanthropist and tried to help in every opportunity she had; many times I didn’t even know about.

When Jamestown was established in 1700s, it was a Quaker community, and Quakers believe in education. The first Medical School of North Carolina was founded in Jamestown. Good health, education, and hard work are the same values Kathy’s dad had when he immigrated to the USA from Greece.

In our community, we still feel the same way about these values. We serve close to 10,000 people (water, maintenance, services, parks, etc.), although we have just over 3,000 citizens. We are a wealthy community, and we run it like business. We are very conscious where we invest and what kind of returns we get, how we spend our funds, and if the decisions we make will benefit the city and the citizens of Jamestown. We make sure all decisions will enhance the value of the city and Jamestown’s citizens’ lives.

When your children were approaching a decision to start their own families, did you feel it was important to influence their opinions in choosing a spouse from a particular heritage?

We did not. Only if we saw severe problems in the marriage would we advise our children. I supported them in whatever they wanted to do, and I was hoping for the best. However, things do not always work as they should, and I know that firsthand since I have been there myself. It does not matter from which family a child comes — if this child tries to improve him/herself to have a better life, that’s the kind of kids you want to have around. I always encouraged my children to be with kids that would benefit from mental, spiritual, and emotional enrichment. Kathy was the same way. My mother said, “Marriage is to strengthen families!”

What aspects of the Greek heritage do you value the most?

I knew that the Greek culture was different from the American, but the core values were the same. So it didn’t feel any different. My mother — when Kathy and I got engaged — wrote a letter to Kathy’s father. At the beginning, she wanted to write it in English and have it translated into Greek. Then I told her not to do that. I said, “Write it in your own handwriting, and Kathy’s father will find a way to read it.  After all, he has three children who speak English. How would you feel and think if you had received a letter in English from someone who doesn’t speak English?”

So her father wrote her back in Greek, and she had to go to a Greek Orthodox priest to have him translate the letter. I reminded my mother that Kathy’s father is an honorable man and there is a lot of trust between the priest and members of the Greek community. My mother and Kathy had a wonderful relationship. In fact, my cousin once told me, “You made a horrible mistake marrying Kathy, because Kathy and your mother get along very well, so you better watch out!”

The Greek Orthodox Church’s traditions were different from what I was used to. I was raised in a Quaker environment, where traditions are simple. I remember the phone calls Kathy was making to relatives and friends or when we received them during name-day celebrations. In fact, we continued the tradition, and we named our youngest son after our families. I strongly believe in the tradition of family name continuation; it helps you define your personal history and why or where your name came from.

You have recently visited Greece. What is your impression?  

I enjoyed my last visit to Greece very much — particularly the Greek food! I like the fact you can end a busy workday in a restaurant, and for hours you can enjoy your dinner, talking and relaxing without pressure. In Greece, I have experienced the best eating atmosphere in my life — everybody is having a good time with great company (usually outdoors and sometimes close to the traffic) but no one is bothered by this. Besides, it is healthier to eat slower. In America, I always feel I have eaten too much.

Do you have any advice to the many Goneis readers on how to manage family life, especially if there is a background clash?

Balance! Time is precious, thus balance your family, work, and religion — in other words, things that are important to you. If there is something you are not passionate about, do not waste any time on it. If you have children, it is important to talk to your children.

Kathy understood that time is precious, and she sacrificed a lot professionally to be with our children and give them the best attention. Kathy also encouraged a sense of appreciation. Her philosophy was if you want to have extras — things that are not really necessary — then you have to work for them. When the children turned sixteen she told them, “If you have $100, I will double it, and if you have $1,000, I will double it.” It was a struggle for our children to understand it.

I asked her, “Why don’t you just buy him a car?”  She said, “No, because they will expect us to do that all the time.” But it was amazing how much they cared for that car, as part of it came from their own money.

Do you have any special memories you still cherish from your childhood?

I grew up in Jamestown. All children those days had a lot of community support. Teachers, the principal, neighbors — no matter where we went on a daily basis, we always saw a familiar face. Jamestown back then was a small town. As Colin Powell said very well, we grew up in “the ant network.” Because we felt someone was always watching us, I think that kept us out of trouble. I enjoyed those days, when all the kids knew each other. Many kids left to study, but even those who still live here you don’t see as often.

Where was your best family vacation?

I enjoyed Christmas in Miami with Kathy’s parents. As a family, we had a good time anywhere we went in the USA or overseas.

Mr. Mayor, thank you for your time and for sharing some of your family memories with Goneis readers. May Kathy’s memory be eternal.

Thank you, Mrs. Teka. It was my pleasure.